Do you ever find yourself, (like me), wondering why you are feeling so stressed out yet the man in your life seems to be dealing with life so calmly? Do you sometimes feel like he’s looking at you in surprise? He can’t work out why you are so stressed out!
I wholeheartedly believe there is a difference between the genders and how they manage the stresses of life. I mean a whole book has been written about how “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”.
This does play out to the stereotypes in society. Men are seen as calm and rational and women as emotional. The term ‘Hysteria’ came from the Greek “hystera” meaning uterus. It was thought that excessive and unmanageable emotions were unique to women with “uterine disruption”. It’s true that women are cyclical beings and can feel like slaves to their hormones.
Our menstrual cycles do bring change in us physically, mentally and emotionally. With it can come grief/sadness, brain fog, lethargy and fatigue, not to mention the physical discomforts such as cramps, headache, backache, etc. Menstruation is hard! (Reflexology can help but that’s another blog post).
So there are some physical, hormonal reasons why women can be more emotional than men for sure. But is it down to more than this? Has society taught them to hold more in than women which actually isn’t good for their health at all?
Or are Men more able to compartmentalise their day and their tasks?
Do Men just worry less about the day to day of life and what others think of them?
Do Men live more in the now than we do? They don’t seem to do so much forward thinking in the day to day of home life. It’s Mums I know that organise life at home whether they work or not.
I do feel society expects Mums to get it right all the time. To remember everything, to look after the kids just so. Men are seen as cute if they try and it’s OK if they don’t get it all right. Whenever my daughter goes to nursery with messy hair I explain that daddy did it this morning and he did it before he got her dressed and that jumper putting on just messed it all up. And that’s OK!
But it’s not OK really. Why are we letting society give us women a hard time? Life isn’t perfect. We can’t be perfect and we truly do need to just be ‘doing OK’.
So my solution to staying as calm as possible is to practice what I preach. I make sure I have ‘me-time’ firmly booked into the diary. I make time for reflexology, yoga, sewing/ dressmaking, time at a spa and time out with friends. I need it and am a better mum for it.
The men benefit too. As the saying goes: “happy wife, happy life”. It helps when they have their fair share of time out too.
Do you make time for yourself? Does it help you cope with the stresses and strains of everyday life?